The perils of evaluation

One cannot imagine the deep rooted impact that Evaluation and Comparison has had on our minds. In our lives we have been brought up constantly being evaluated for all our actions around somebody’s parameters of right and wrong. Every action is compared with either the actions of a different individual or an illusion of an ideal character and the feedback is given in a manner that leaves a lasting impression on the person. The joke in this is that everyone assumes or draws up an estimate of the intentions without ever having a slightest clue of what the actual intent is behind the actions was.

Simple examples of this can be seen in childhood. When a child picks up an object in the house, it is immediately assumed that the child has picked it with an intention to acquire or damage it. The object has to be protected from the child’s “evil” intent. What is done as a norm then is that the child is prevented from following his instinct. This action may be done in a subtle or direct way under the guise of discipline. However the basic premise of the action is mistrust towards the child. Rarely is it thought that the child is simply curious. Anybody who even thinks that the child is driven by curiosity ultimately comes back to the disciplining way once there is an untoward incident. What goes on from here-on in most cases is an incessant curbing of the natural instincts of a child. If the child is even slightly determined to follow his curiosity, he dealt appropriately resulting in him either losing curiosity out of fear or becoming rebellious.

By the time the child reaches adulthood, he is so used to disbelieving his own nature that his every action comes out post screening for acceptability. At one level, I think we are so afraid of our natural instinct that we kill many thoughts as preposterous even before we analyze it. We rename this fear as maturity! Do we really think that our natural instinct will make us jump off a building or harm someone? In-fact in all cases where someone harms other, there is a history of the natural instinct being curbed to an extent of revolt.

The far reaching implication of our behavior is the gradual degradation of our individuality and us leading an existence behind a perpetual mask. We have to undergo therapy to uncover our layers and know ourselves. Isn’t it ironical that after spending whole lives taming it, we are told that the success mantra is to “Follow our Instincts”!!